Phoenix pendant project 2 by ~Nat-Lia on deviantART

Second part of my phoenix pendant project.
Needless to say the last one is my favorite...

Phoenix pendant project by ~Nat-Lia on deviantART

I think I'll make 9999999999999999 sketches before I'll eventually make my mind xD

That's all that's left of nearly a half of our house.
Not that the house is totally destructed, no. It is only inside and only on the right side (including my bedroom T___T).

I'm wicked.
Serisouly.
I got out of the house with my bag and my pets and while watching the flames consuming our beloved little house I got an incredible feeling of power, like if it was me who set the it on fire on purpose. My inner voice was like "burn, baby, BURN!!".  My destructive tendencies sometimes scare me... I'm pretty sure the firemen and neighboors were aware of the fact I was looking at our burning house with delight, with was really inappropriate, I know >.<

I don't know why, I can't explain.
I'm not happy with what happened.
You know, this room was the very first thing I payed with the money I earnt by myself, 6 years ago. From wallpaper to furnitures... The wallpaper is to change, some mebles are ruined and there is no more electricity there. Luckily, all my little things like my games, my books, my clothes, all that was far from the fire so it's safe... but even, I feel sad. I love this room, I felt safe there, I felt home. It was the very first room reflecting my personnality and now... it's nothing but a chaos covered by ashes...

By the way, let's talk about that bag I carried with me the whole day. When my Dad told me to get out of the house, I quickly grabbed fiew stuff and  pulled them in my bag, without really thinking bout what I 'm taking. Now I'm inside again, everythign calmed down... the temperature is still high and it smells like ash of course, but everything is fine again. So I took a look in this bag and, seriously, I don't understand why I took what I took xD
Just look:

First it's kinda logic: my wallet, my mobile phone (with music and pics), the headphones I bought in Japan... but why did I also take the earphones???? And the Japanese lessons book?? And more curious, why THE FUCK did I took the message one of the guys I met in Japan wrote to help a Roku???? (I didn't even know I was the one who had this sheet of paper :/)
Seriously, I'm clueless about my actions sometimes @.@

Perhaps, my Mom is on holidays in Poland for now, so she didn't knew bout what happened. I sent her a message saying "there are spacemen in da house @.@"... yes cause I wanted to make her laugh so she wouldn't worry xD And I said there were spacemen home cause the firemen were wearing like space suits to get inside our house cause it was really filled with smoke (that much that you just couldn't see anything at all >.<)... it was useless, she worried anyway xD Of course... *sigh* anyway...

So I got back into my room and cleaned as much as I can. Then I turned to my door and saw the poster I pasted on it yesterday:

Scary xD Okay, you won, Phoenix... seriously, for fiew seconds I believed the Phoenix Force was real and that IT burnt my house xD But then something in my mind said "dude, you're in no Marvel comic, 'kay?!" Yes, yes, you're right Mrs Reason >.< It looks like when there is too much emotion, I'm even more into fantasy @.@ Fortunatly, I have a bit of reason and don't let my imagination get over me... I have more difficulties with my destructive tendencies I guess... I'm crazy, I know, no need to comment to tell me that u.u

Yeah... just too much emotions.
I'm so damn tired.
And tomorrow I'll have to clean the rest of the house with my Dad... we got a loooooot of work T_T
*sigh*
Bye for now.